One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
”Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs ." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the . The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."

Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the . The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don’t stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."

Technorati Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Posts
  • Forearm and wrist pain? Lately I've been getting really sharp pains right between the wrist and forearm on the little finger side of the arm. The pain can hurt when bicep curling and preacher curls but it's at it's worst when I release the grip of a weight it's just an unbearable sharp......
  • How do I help a sore throwing elbow? (Baseball)? I am 14 and i don't usually pitch but when I start to throw a lot my ligament in my elbow hurts REAL bad, to the point where I cant even hold my arm up anymore. My coach says its because i'm not following through. 1) Does anybody have......
  • Have you heard of these symptoms? 2 days before Easter i was dignosed with over active Thyroid. I was put on the meds to help this. My blood work came back ok with the dosage. 2 weeks later... I broke out in hives..... had to go to the hospital and they gave me steroids &......
  • Is it okay to bend your elbow when there is an IV in your arm? I was sick and had to go to the hospital today, where they gave me a saline solution intravenously. While the IV was in my arm, another nurse came in and told me to undress for an EKG. I asked her if we could remove the needle from my......
  • Dislocated elbow a 2.5 weeks ago and tore tendons/ligaments? I'm out of the splint, and I've gained some mobility back but I'd still like to get some type of support. I'm going hiking in Costa Rica next week and a little extra protection would make me feel better. Anyone have a suggestion for a brace or some sort of......
  • Would you go out with me? okay, i have blonde curly hair about down to my elbows and dark blue eyes. i like to read and write, and want to be a journalist. i have straight A's in advanced classes. i'm a little bit shy around people i dont know, but once i get to know......
  • When should I expect to be recovered from tennis elbow? I quit playing racquetball about a month ago when pain got pretty bad. (It had been slowly progressing for a few weeks) I continued to lift weights for 2 weeks. My elbow wasn't getting any better so I stopped that too. At this point It has been 10 days with......
Related Websites
  • Powerball AU 40 million Tonight's Powerball Jackpot of AU $40 million is the biggest ever offered on Australian Powerball. If one person wins the entire $40 million Jackpot, they will become Australia’s largest ever lottery winner! It is good value to have a go today, even if they are hard to pick. The Saliu......
  • Monday Lotto AU 1million Tonight's draw is quite difficult to predict, but may be worth a few dollars. All numbers will probably be derived from the last 10 draws. 2 numbers out of the following 6 may feature: 3 8 23 24 27 42 12 games played in-house, with "Double up" feature, Cost: $6.05......
  • Widgi Creek Golf Club, Bend, OR Widgi Creek Golf Club is located in: Bend, OR Phone: (541) 382-4449 Website: http://www.widgi.com/golf/hours.cfm Course History: This is a great place to stop if you will be in the Bend, OR area. We fell in love with this course and can't wait to go back. It is extremely beautiful and......
  • Monday Lotto AU 2million Today's Lotto looks the best prospect so far, for a narrow ANY 6 draw. All numbers should be derived from those of the previous 5 draws, if not, it will probably blow out and the next draw will be the tight one. The Saliu Filters look extremely favorable. This reduces......
  • Saturday Lotto AU 4million Tracking through the NSW Lotto recent results, some quite extreme situations have occured in the patterns analysed. The sum totals have been difficult to predict, as there were 3 games in a row where the smallest number was 19, 20, 21 consecutively, this had not occured for 135 draws. The......
  • Weight Tracking (Last Attempt) Total Weight Lost: 58lbs Here is my weight tracking page... It will evolve as I get more accustomed to my new lifestyle, but for starters if you want to know about the Jumpstart Medicine weight loss program that I am following read this post WeightLadder Reset — 390lbs and Starting......
  • Law School Rankings If you are an aspiring law student and you are looking for the top law school around, you might already have a vague ides on what schools those are. But according to reports and according to the Top Law Schools website, here is the 2010 law school rankings: 2010......

Tagged with:

Filed under: Cure Tennis Elbow

Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!