funny joke anyone?
Computer Diagnosis
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
”Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs ." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the . The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."
Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the . The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don’t stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
Related Posts- Computer Diagnosis? One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. ''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem......
- Computer diagnosis? One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your......
- Need to know how to adjust my bicycle so I don't keep getting tennis elbow in my left elbow(right unaffected) Over the last 2 months I've developed tennis elbow from cycling on my hybrid bicycle (Diamondback Maravista). I've had a "professional" look at me on my bike on a trainer and he installed an extension tube on my front fork, but that's not helping. For some reason it's only on......
- advanced pc's? Computer Diagnosis One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. ''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose......
- Why does my elbow hurt when I serve in tennis? After about 10 serves or so the area around my elbow begins to ache. The ache is mostly on the muscle in between my bicep and my elbow. Is this from improper serving mechanics? (I have never been coached) If so, what are the correct mechanics to serving without hurting......
- What may be the reason for pinching type of pain in the neck-shoulder-elbow area? Also treatment.? I have the above mentioned type of pain only on the LEFT side, starting from the back of the head-shoulder joint-elbow. Pain has never extended beyond the elbow. Started six months ago. There is also increase in pain through the months since the start. I am inactive most during the......
- Is this a funny...? Pls star if so. Thx.? Computer Diagnosis One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. ''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will......
- Start Investing P2P Lending I have been investing in p2p lending on Prosper since July 06. I consider it an alternative asset class and orthgonal to the stock market. I am regularly asked if someone should invest in p2p lending... I think the answer is a loud and clear yes! But before you rush......
- 100 Greatest Songs of the 90's Here is the list of 100 Greatest Songs of the 90's taken from VH1. In my opinion, this list is legitimate. Nirvana - "Smells Like Teen Spirit" (1991, #6 US) U2 - "One" (1991, #10 US) Backstreet Boys - "I Want It That Way" (1999, #6 US) Whitney Houston......
- World Cup - France V Data-Facts Mexico Polokwane, South Africa (AFP / Reuters) - Mexican opponents in France competing allowance Cup Group A Dunai, Thursday, and the following data and the fact both teams. Venue: Peter Mokaba stadium, Polokwane. Capacity: 45,000 Time: Thursday, June 17, 2030 local (1830 GMT) Referee: Khalil Al Ghamdi (Saudi Arabia) Ranking......
- World Cup - Data and Facts Spanish V Switzerland Durban (ANTARA News / Reuters) - Spain will be against Switzerland in their first match in World Cup Group H on Wednesday. Place: Moses Mabhida Stadium, Durban Capacity: 69 000 Time: Wednesday, June 16, 1600 local time (1400 GMT) Referee: Howard Webb (England) Ranking the world: Spain 2, Switzerland......
- Wednesday Lotto AU 750K Today's draw has some potential, as mentioned in the Monday draw comments: Soon to come: A draw where ALL numbers will come from only the last 4-7 draws!! Also look for all small numbers (under 33) to come in one of the next few draws. There is a good possibility......
Tagged with: cocaine • computer diagnosis • concoction • drug store • Funny Computer • Funny Joke • heavy lifting • lawyer • medical science • new technology • rehabilitation clinic • slip of paper • stool sample • tap water • tennis elbow • twin girls • urine sample • urine samples • vitamins • warm water • water softener • worms
Filed under: Cure Tennis Elbow
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
that is so funny lol seriouly
say another one
great joke. I gotta remember that one
That was an awesome joke……………………………………………………………………………………………………………… the first time i heard it.
Yes.
lol…that is funny
haha. That’s funny as stuff.
post some more!! I really liked it..
Blondes In Space
A Russian, an American, and a blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The blonde said, "So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!" said the Russian.
The blonde replied, "We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!"
i liked that
Now that was funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! many thanks needed it!!!!!!!!!!
That’s a good one, have you heard of this one?
Three Men At The Pearly Gates
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, and Patrick had to tell the first one, “Heaven’s getting pretty close to full today, and I’ve been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what’s your story?”
The first man replies: “Well, for a while I’ve suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn’t reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn’t you know it, he wouldn’t fall off.
So I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and started hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn’t stand that for long, so he let go and fell—but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony.”
“That sounds like a pretty bad day to me,” said Patrick, and he let the man in.
The second man comes up and Patrick explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story. “It’s been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn’t hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved! But then he started beating on me and kicking me. I managed to hold on until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but okay. Just when I was thinking I was going to be all right, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me, killing me instantly. And, now I’m here.”
Once again, Patrick had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Patrick explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.
“OK, picture this,” says the third man, “I’m hiding naked inside a refrigerator….”
That was funny!!! Give us some more LOL!!!!
lol…funny..thx for the laughs!
Thank you very much. Really funny. I kept laughing for a couple of minutes, even if I remembered that I had heard a variant of the joke before.
LOLZ… DAT WAZ ALL PRETTY FUNNI MORE!!
lol that was soooooooooo funny n cute:):):)
it is old
That’s really funny!!!
ha ha ha ha . applause . hey dat was really really great . keep it up sweety . my wishes r with you
That was a real good one. I enjoyed it. Thank you.
Very funny………….roflol