Computer Diagnosis

One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
”Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs ." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the . The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."

Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the . The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don’t stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."

Technorati Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Posts
  • Elbow Pain and Cracking need advice? Alright so about 2 months ago i noticed while i was laying on my couch with my arm extended up every time i flex the arm it makes about 7-8 quick cracking sounds. I have played baseball all of my life and recently started pitching. I went to the......
  • Excuse me :) Please open, and give advice.? So I think I may be pregnant and I will test tomorrow or saturday depending on if I get my period. So these are my symptoms. I would be 14dpo today. Monday – pants button broke and cant fit anymore. Thurday – Sore nipples, Gas, and pants ripped when squatted.......
  • New Technology? One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. ''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem......
  • Physical Therapy For Tennis Elbow Many people experience elbow pain and tennis elbow signs and symptoms from performing certain movements or exercises. This is often an agonizing pain that does not seem to go away, and truth is that it is not going to dissappear until the proper physical therapy treatment is put in......
  • some more cos every1 is soo nice today? sorry some are a little long, but well worth it! Diagnosis One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor." His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper......
  • Easiest way to shrink clothes QUICKLY? Okay I have a bunch of uniform shirts and they go down to my knees, and the sleeves are at my elbows. I have three days until it is time to wear them, how do I get them to shrink FAST?? (They are all %100 percent cotton, but not......
  • Joke: Computer Diagnosis :)? One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. ''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your......
Related Websites
  • Prosper Facilitates 60 Million in Loans From People to People Here is today's marketplace data...   Date: Principal Closed: # Loans: # Registrations: # Lenders: # Borrowers: # Groups: # GLs: Historical Interest Rates Credit Grade Group Member Average Rate Less Than 5K Average Rate 5K to 10K Average Greater Than 10K NC 0       HR 0 0.26008......
  • Wednesday Lotto AU 750K Today's NSW Lotto is not a lot easier than Monday's. With most numbers looking to come from those within the last 10 draws, and at least 3 or 4 numbers from within 5 draws. Previous draw the Saliu ANY Filters were: 1+ 3+ 6+ 7+ 9+ 16+ All PLUS, strongly......
  • Schindler's Actual List In 1980, a writer named Thomas Keneally was buying a new briefcase in Beverly Hills, California. The shopkeeper, Leopold Pfefferberg, was a Polish Jew who had an interesting personal story of how a man named Oskar Schindler saved him and over a thousand other Jews from Nazi extermination in World......
  • Law School Rankings If you are an aspiring law student and you are looking for the top law school around, you might already have a vague ides on what schools those are. But according to reports and according to the Top Law Schools website, here is the 2010 law school rankings: 2010......
  • Widgi Creek Golf Club, Bend, OR Widgi Creek Golf Club is located in: Bend, OR Phone: (541) 382-4449 Website: http://www.widgi.com/golf/hours.cfm Course History: This is a great place to stop if you will be in the Bend, OR area. We fell in love with this course and can't wait to go back. It is extremely beautiful and......
  • Intech Lancer Junior Golf Set, (Right-Handed, Age 8 to 12, 17.5 degree Driver, 4/5 Hybrid Iron, Wide Sole 7 and 9 irons, Junior Putter, Deluxe Stand Bag) User Reviews Send this to a friend Intech Lancer Junior Golf Set, (Right-Handed, Age 8 to 12, 17.5 degree Driver, 4/5 Hybrid Iron, Wide Sole 7 and 9 irons, Junior Putter, Deluxe Stand Bag) Manufacturer: INTECH Customer Rating: List Price: $89.99 Sale Price: $89.95 Availibility: Usually ships in 24......
  • Weight Tracking (Last Attempt) Total Weight Lost: 58lbs Here is my weight tracking page... It will evolve as I get more accustomed to my new lifestyle, but for starters if you want to know about the Jumpstart Medicine weight loss program that I am following read this post WeightLadder Reset — 390lbs and Starting......

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Filed under: Cure Tennis Elbow

Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!