One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor."

His friend offered, "Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs ."

Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the . The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the . The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don’t stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.

Technorati Tags: cocaine, concoction, drug store, heavy lifting, Joke, lawyer, medical science, new technology, rehabilitation clinic, slip of paper, stool sample, tap water, tennis elbow, twin girls, urine sample, urine samples, vitamins, warm water, water softener, worms

i used to go to gym
but after my elbow hurt me I was forced to stop going to gym
and i thought that i have tennis elbow for 4months
but after making MRI , i have minimal elbow joint effusion
what is it ? does is it have a cure or like tennis elbow ??
is there any hope to go back to gym ?

Technorati Tags: elbow joint effusion, tennis elbow

I had tennis elbow from 3 months
I took those months as a rest from GYM and i put ice
but it’s still there and it’s painful
Now I’m making Physiotherapy
I am just wondering if anyone had cured from tennis elbow before
or it never goes ? because i fed up
Later , i will be able to be back to GYM or nooooo ??

Technorati Tags: Elbow Tennis, lateral Epicondylitis, tennis elbow

for the last few weeks all i have eaten are microwaved hungry man dinners and now i have developed about a two inch green sore on my right elbow. what should i do.

Technorati Tags: hungry man dinners, right elbow

It’s not age, because i’m 15. It’s not that i’m too thin, i’m 108 and 5’5.
My breasts, thighs, lower legs, and even around my hip bones. They’re not little spider veins. they’re big blue veins that around my hips you can see curving around and its really strange. i can see the veins in my wrists go from half way in my palm all the way to a my GIANT elbow vein. all the way up my lower arm. that’s so nasty.
but why all of a sudden? should i be worried?

also, on the back of my hand, the veins are so visible that if i press down on it, pull towards the knuckle, then release the pressure, you can SEE (actually see) the blood rush back through the vein.
and i’ve worked up a little tan from tennis. i’m not super super pale.

Technorati Tags: back of my hand, blood rush, blue veins, breasts, elbow, Giant, hip bones, hips, legs, lower arm, Nasty, palm, spider veins, tennis, thighs

if you like, STAR
if not then well
dont star
also
tell me ur best joke
ok
here it is:
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
”Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs ." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the . The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."

Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the . The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don’t stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."

Technorati Tags: cocaine, concoction, drug store, heavy lifting, Joke, lawyer, medical science, new technology, rehabilitation clinic, slip of paper, stool sample, tap water, tennis elbow, twin girls, urine sample, urine samples, vitamins, warm water, water softener, worms

Okay, so I’m in physical therapy for my left should and on the 4th the pt had me riding the bike and i felt this pain on the right side of my back, like right where the should ends i think. Last week I started Tennis, again, and my right shoulder was a little sore.
Other symptoms, I’m not sure if they go along with this or not: really bad headaches, a tingling in my right elbow (which i know most likely is something with nerves), pain/tingling in right shoulder, a sharp pain in my right forearm and i get tingling in both of my knees, mostly my left though.
Thanks…I went to my doctor today and she told me it was some muscle but she ignored the whole tingling in my knee which really annoyed me because even if its not connected to this its still a problem but whatever Thanks!!

Technorati Tags: forearm, headaches, knees, nerves, physical therapy, right elbow, Sharp Pain, tennis

One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
”Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs ." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the . The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."

Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the . The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don’t stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."

Technorati Tags: Cheap Health, cocaine, concoction, drug store, Health Checkup, heavy lifting, Joke, lawyer, medical science, new technology, rehabilitation clinic, slip of paper, stool sample, tap water, tennis elbow, twin girls, urine sample, urine samples, vitamins, warm water, water softener, worms

i’ve been having elbow pain for the last two years, possibly from me working at the shipping department at sears, and having two heavy objects fall on me, and me trying to lift them up myself. i have had several xrays, three MRIs, one with nuclear medicine, a few physical therapies, and one cortisone injection, and the doctors can’t figure out whats wrong with it. nothing comes up on the MRIs or xrays. the pain comes and goes, and sometimes it feels like it expands all throughout my elbow, but it does not radiate anywhere, its a centralized pain. i’m thinking it might be tendinitis, but i’m not sure. the doctors have ruled out tennis elbow, because my pain doesn’t radiate to my hand. does anyone else have this condition or maybe know something about it? thanks in advance.

-joe

Technorati Tags: cortisone, doctors, elbow pain, medicine, mris, nuclear medicine, physical therapies, sears, shipping department, tennis elbow, thanks in advance

I’m using an extreme western grip, which helps me generate a tremendous amount of spin as well as good power.
I used to play with a 4 1/2 in (size 4) Babolat which gave me tennis elbow; then I switched to a much lighter Prince with a grip size 4 1/4 in (size 2) and the pain went away… for a whole year.
A couple of weeks ago, the pain came back. I doubt it’s due to the grip size. I’m wondering if my tennis elbow could be due to my extreme western grip.

Also, what are some tips you know for curing tennis elbow? The regular ice treatment didn’t really work for me.

Thank you for any help/tips!

Technorati Tags: babolat, grip size, Power Play, prince, tennis elbow

i have tennis elbow/cubital tunnel sydrome ive had a few surgeries that have eased the pain but, playing guitar is like a release for me, and it hurts to play is there a solution to this? any techniques the pain is pretty bad.

Technorati Tags: cubital tunnel, Elbow Tennis, Guitar Playing, Playing Guitar, surgeries, tennis elbow

I have a job as an overnight grocery store stocker in which I have begun to develop pain in my right elbow after only a few weeks of starting work and the pain has persisted ever since. Is there anything, besides the obvious need of rest, that wil allow me to keep doing my job and most importantly avoid any long term damage?

Technorati Tags: doing my job, Elbow Muscles, grocery store, right elbow, sore elbow, sore muscles, term damage

Hi in December last year I injured both my arms I went to doctors and he said it’s tennis elbow.. I been to rehab to try and fix it but nothing worked and the day before yesterday I went and got Chinese accupressure massage now it hurts ALL the time i can’t wear anything that puts any kinda pressure on my arms what can I do??

Technorati Tags: accupressure massage, day before yesterday, doctors, tennis elbow

My father recently has experienced pain in his elbow. He says that there is pain at the meeting joints of the humerus and radius. He says it only hurts in the muscle; his skin is fine. He does not know whether his bone is damaged or not however. He says he may be experiencing tennis or golf elbow. Nevertheless, I would like to make sure. Finally, are there any cures or homemade remedies? He wants to see a doctor but is lacking the money. Is there anything that can lessen the pain or cure it? Any help is appreciated. Thank you.

Technorati Tags: elbow joints, Golf Elbow, homemade remedies, humerus, joints, money, radius, tennis

I hit my elbow and it cracked and i don’t know if its broken or not and the symptoms are bruise swollen hard to move and really sore! Should I see a doctor?

Technorati Tags: Broken Elbow, bruise, elbow

The nurse had to reposition the needle. I have had quite a bit of bruising on the lower inside of my elbow, which showed up ~1-2 days later, and significant soreness in my upper arm, particularly when I flex or extend. Blood was drawn from my dominant arm, so I assume some persistent soreness is due to use, but it has been a week and the soreness has not improved. I’m wondering if (when?) I should be worried.

Technorati Tags: bicep, elbow, Flex, nurse, upper arm

I feel tension when I do the hundred and a few other exercise but afterward I am not sore. The only exercise that makes me sore is the modified crunch where you touch your elbows to knees. Also do those ab exercises where your just leaning or stretching or pulling your knees towards you really work?
I am sorry feel

Technorati Tags: ab exercises, crunch, elbows, exercise, knees, tension

Alright so about 2 months ago i noticed while i was laying on my couch with my arm extended up every time i flex the arm it makes about 7-8 quick cracking sounds. I have played baseball all of my life and recently started pitching. I went to the dct. and they told me it was fine and normal if i had no pain, now that im at college i have had constant elbow pain especially in the mornings. I will wake up to a stiff arm sore elbow and i need to work it into the day. Im not sure if it is normal and can be healed with rest or if i have a true problem here.

Technorati Tags: baseball, couch, Cracking, dct, elbow pain, sore elbow, Sounds, stiff arm, true problem

I am a 14 year old lefty and pitch for my travel team, but when I throw, a little portion of my inner elbow muscle aches and makes my arm feel like jello. I have iced, headed, and used bengay on it to try and ease the pain, but it doesn’t seem to be working. Does anybody have any ideas or solutions?

Technorati Tags: inner Elbow, jello, lefty, pitch, Sore Arm, Travel Team

One dr. said cellulitis and another was stumped. What condition moves away from the heart like this? It’s red and sore, tender to the touch and a little warm. Do you think it will work its way out once it gets to my fingertip?

Technorati Tags: diagnosis, elbow, fingertip, heart, inflammation, Oral Antibiotics, Spite

I am 14 and i don’t usually pitch but when I start to throw a lot my ligament in my elbow hurts REAL bad, to the point where I cant even hold my arm up anymore. My coach says its because i’m not following through.

1) Does anybody have any additional information on what i’m doing wrong?
2) How do i stretch it/rest it so it stops hurting?
3) Should i see a doctor?

Technorati Tags: baseball, coach, elbow, ligament, pitch

Pls star if worthy…thx….

Computer Diagnosis
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
”Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs ." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the . The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."
Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the . The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don’t stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."

Technorati Tags: cocaine, computer diagnosis, concoction, drug store, heavy lifting, Joke, lawyer, medical science, new technology, rehabilitation clinic, slip of paper, stool sample, tap water, tennis elbow, twin girls, urine sample, urine samples, vitamins, warm water, water softener, worms

my arm is sore EVERYWHERE my elbow my shoulder (right) it hurts when i move it. How can i heal it? with ice? help.

Technorati Tags: elbow, Sore Arm

I want to get a marilyn monroe tattoo on the inside of my arm between my wrist and the crease of my elbow…..it’s going to be mainly black and white, but red lips and a red signature. If you got a similar tattoo, how bad did you find it?

Technorati Tags: crease, elbow, marilyn monroe, red lips, red signature, tattoo