One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money, " Mike replies. "There’s a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer’ll tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars…a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.

Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant…twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

Technorati Tags: anti fungal shampoo, cocaine habit, company cafeteria, computer lights, concoction, diagnostic computer, drugstore, good measure, hell, masturbated, money, new technology, rehab 4, stool sample, tap water, ten seconds, tennis elbow, twin girls, urine sample, urine samples, warm water, water softener

A man complained to his friend, "My elbow hurts. I better go to the doctor."
"Don’t do that," volunteered his friend, "there’s a new computer at the drugstore that can diagnose any problem quicker and cheaper than a doctor. All you have to do is put in a urine sample, deposit , then the computer will give you your diagnosis and plan of treatment."
The man figured he had nothing to lose, so he took a sample of urine down to the drugstore. Finding the machine, he poured in the urine and deposited . The machine began to buzz and various lights flashed on and off. After a short pause, a slip of paper popped out on which was printed:
You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water twice a day. Avoid heavy labor. Your elbow will be better in two weeks.
That evening as the man contemplated this breakthrough in medical science, he began to suspect fraud.
To test his theory he mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and teenage daughter. To top it all off, he masturbated into the jar. He took this concoction down to the drugstore, poured it in the machine and deposited . The machine went through the same buzzing and flashing routine as before then printed out the following message:

Your tap water has lead. Get a filter.
Your dog has worms. Give him vitamins.
Your daughter is on drugs. Get her in rehab.
Your wife is pregnant. It’s not your baby. Get a lawyer.
And if you don’t stop playing with yourself, your tennis elbow will never get better.
COMMENT:
I know this is a repost, (the violation reason given was solicitation?)
well, I don’t want anything nor am I selling anything, so there you have it.

I post jokes all the time, please feel free to browse my questions section for more.
@gordooo2
I seriously hope that you don’t think I’m stupid enough to post the same thing over and over if it’s already in my previous questions list. There’s a REASON why I need to repost certain content, I’ll let you figure out why.

Technorati Tags: breakthrough, concoction, diagnosis, drugstore, fraud, medical science, new computer, questions section, repost, slip of paper, solicitation, stool sample, tap water, teenage daughter, tennis elbow, urine sample, urine samples, vitamins, warm water, worms

doctor." "Don’t do that," volunteered his friend, "there’s a new computer at the drugstore that can diagnose any problem quicker and cheaper than a doctor. All you have to do is put in a urine sample, deposit , then the computer will give you your diagnosis and plan of treatment."
The man figured he had nothing to lose, so he took a sample of urine down to the drugstore. Finding the machine, he poured in the urine and deposited . The machine began to buzz and various lights flashed on and off. After a short pause, a slip of paper popped out on which was printed:

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water twice a day. Avoid heavy labor. Your elbow will be better in two weeks.
That evening as the man contemplated this breakthrough in medical science, he began to suspect fraud. To test his theory he mixed together some tap
water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and teenage daughter. To top it all off, he masturbated into the jar. He took this concoction down to the drugstore, poured it in the machine and deposited . The machine went through the same buzzing and flashing routine as before then printed out the following message:

Your tap water has lead. Get a filter.
Your dog has worms. Give him vitamins.
Your daughter is on drugs. Get her in rehab.
Your wife is pregnant. It’s not your baby. Get a lawyer.
And if you don’t stop jerking off your tennis elbow will never get better.

Technorati Tags: breakthrough, concoction, diagnosis, drugs, drugstore, fraud, lawyer, medical science, new computer, quot quot, slip of paper, stool sample, tap water, teenage daughter, tennis elbow, urine sample, urine samples, vitamins, warm water, worms