A man complains to his friend: "My elbow really hurts, I think I should see a doctor"

His friend replies: "No need, the supermarket now has a machine that can give a quick and cheap diagnosis. You just need to insert a urine sample and just 1 pound. After a few minutes you get the result and a sollution to your problems"

- The man is willing to give this a try. So he inserts the sample and he waits for the result. The machine gives him a piece of paper with the follwing inscription: "You have a tennis elbow. Keep your arm warm and avoid hard labour for a couple of days. After a few weeks the pain will disappear."

Back home the man doubts the credibility of this machine and decides to test it. The next morning he makes a sample with some tap water, some poo of his dog, some urine of his wife and daughter and some sperm of himself.

He inserts this coktail in the machine and waits impatiently for the result.

He gets another note with an inscription: "Your tap water contains too much lime. Buy a filter. Your dog has maggots. Give it vitamines. Your daughter is on drugs. Bring her to a rehabilitation centre. Your wife is pregnant, but you’re not the father. Get a good lawyer. And if u don’t stop masturbating, you’ll never get rid of that tennis elbow!"

Technorati Tags: amp, coktail, couple of days, credibility, diagnosis, Doubts, few minutes, Funny Joke, hard labour, Labour, lawyer, lime, maggots, next morning, piece of paper, poo, rehabilitation centre, sollution, sperm, supermarket, tap water, tennis elbow, urine sample

I think about maybe 2 or 3 years ago, I was skateboarding, and fell down on my elbow – pretty hard. It didn’t hurt at first, but from time to time my elbow makes a kind of pop noise, and when I play a sport heavily that involves throwing or using your elbow ( basketball, baseball ) I get pain in my arm. After awhile, it gets terribly annoying, and when I am finished, my arm feels "dead". I don’t know what to do. I am only 16, and in good health, but I am like any normal guy that wants to do anything to avoid seeing a doctor. Especially, I want to avoid getting surgery. Is there any way I can avoid getting surgery? Can this heal with a cast? I’ve gone several weeks and months ( usually in winter ) where I do virtually nothing with my elbow, but when spring time or summer rolls around, my elbow gets painful again after just a few minutes. Any help would be great, and thanks for posting. :]

Technorati Tags: 3 years, basketball baseball, elbow, few minutes, good health, spring time, summer rolls

A man hurts his elbow & goes to the dr. When the nurse takes him to the room, she hands him a cup & tells him that they need a urine sample. "A urine sample?" the man asks, "For what, I hurt my elbow?" The nurse replies, "We have a new machine that can diagnose anything by a urine sample." So, the man pees in the cup & hands it to the nurse. The dr comes in and tells him he has the worst case of tennis elbow he has ever seen, gives him some exercises & to come back in two weeks with another sample. So, the guy goes homes & thinks "I’m really gonna get this dr" so he pees in it, has his wife pee in it, his daughter, his dog, puts some crankcase oil from the car & j**** off & puts that in there. When he gets back to the dr, he hands it over & waits. The doc walks in a few minutes later & says, "Alright smartass, your wife’s got VD, your daughter’s pregnant, your dog’s got rabies, your car’s about to throw a rod and if you don’t quit j***ing off that tennis elbow‘s never going to heal!"

Technorati Tags: car amp, crankcase, crankcase oil, exercises, few minutes, ing, nurse, pees, rabies, tennis elbow, urine sample, worst case

Hey,
I got tennis elbow 1 year ago(due to playing badminton excessively).I had to take ultrasound radiations,massages and had to wear a band on my arm which restricted movements.Thing is,I had it on my right elbow(I’m right-handed) and had to give numerous exams the month after that(writing was very painful but oh,well) – so I couldn’t give it much rest and one year after I got it,it still acts up now and then on application of least pressure for more than a few minutes.Doc keeps saying I need to give it time and rest – time I have,rest I can’t give(again,I have to write in classes and give tests/exams all the time).I’m more than worried now coz I’m really into sports and I need a strong right arm.Can any1 tell me abt some good exercises or therapies that can help strengthen my arm faster or atleast better?
Thnx!
healthier2morrow, u forgot to give ur email address

Technorati Tags: badminton, exercises, few minutes, massages, radiations, rest time, right arm, right elbow, sports, tennis elbow, ultrasound