Computer Diagnosis

One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
”Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs ." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the . The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."

Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the . The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don’t stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."

Technorati Tags: cocaine, computer diagnosis, concoction, drug store, Funny Computer, Funny Joke, heavy lifting, lawyer, medical science, new technology, rehabilitation clinic, slip of paper, stool sample, tap water, tennis elbow, twin girls, urine sample, urine samples, vitamins, warm water, water softener, worms

A man complains to his friend: "My elbow really hurts, I think I should see a doctor"

His friend replies: "No need, the supermarket now has a machine that can give a quick and cheap diagnosis. You just need to insert a urine sample and just 1 pound. After a few minutes you get the result and a sollution to your problems"

- The man is willing to give this a try. So he inserts the sample and he waits for the result. The machine gives him a piece of paper with the follwing inscription: "You have a tennis elbow. Keep your arm warm and avoid hard labour for a couple of days. After a few weeks the pain will disappear."

Back home the man doubts the credibility of this machine and decides to test it. The next morning he makes a sample with some tap water, some poo of his dog, some urine of his wife and daughter and some sperm of himself.

He inserts this coktail in the machine and waits impatiently for the result.

He gets another note with an inscription: "Your tap water contains too much lime. Buy a filter. Your dog has maggots. Give it vitamines. Your daughter is on drugs. Bring her to a rehabilitation centre. Your wife is pregnant, but you’re not the father. Get a good lawyer. And if u don’t stop masturbating, you’ll never get rid of that tennis elbow!"

Technorati Tags: amp, coktail, couple of days, credibility, diagnosis, Doubts, few minutes, Funny Joke, hard labour, Labour, lawyer, lime, maggots, next morning, piece of paper, poo, rehabilitation centre, sollution, sperm, supermarket, tap water, tennis elbow, urine sample