So, Mike took him to a Diagnostic Computer that printed Joe’s problem exactly.
It printed

"You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water
Avoid heavy activity.
It will improve in two weeks"

Joe thought of fooling the computer so he mixed some tap water,a stool sample from his dog,urine samples from his wife and daughter,and a sperm sample for good measure and poured it into the machine. The machine printed these

1. Your tap water is too hard.Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm.Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit.Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant.Twins.They aren’t yours.Get a lawyer.
5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself,your elbow will never get better.

BYE – Imtiyaz G


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Was lifting a canoe to put on rack on the wall wiht my dad, it fell nad my hand was caught in it, i heard a pop/snap/crack (i went over with it) , and it hurts like hell. i don’t want to see a docter unless i have to, anyideas on what could be wrong?


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Okay, to put it simply, I accidentally poked my thumb on the side with a pocket knife, and now it is very sore and every once in a while, I get what I can only describe as a "thread of pain" going from the poke, to the tip of my thumb, and then a few inches above my elbow joint on the inner part of my arm. I didn’t even poke it a millimeter and there was barely a drop of blood.Can somebody please tell me what the hell is going on with my arm?
Actually, I had a tetanus shot 3 years ago,so I am okay for that. However, ever since I poked myself, I have had a shortness of breath and constant cough. Don’t really think they have anything relating to eachother though.


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The music video exercise for the 2004 NYFA 8 week filmmaking workshop in London. Shot on 16 mm Arriflex.


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One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money, " Mike replies. "There’s a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer’ll tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars…a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.

Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant…twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.


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Hi, a few months ago I was running and slipped, landing on my shoulder.. Hurt like hell but could move it just fine. Still hurts if I move it a particular way but nothing other than that.
The past 2 weeks my hand started hurting like crazy when I use it a bit & now shooting up to my elbow.
Are the two related? Should I go to the doctor or think it’ll heal over time?
Thankss :)


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I was an active pitcher/shortstop on my baseball team, and I had to constantly make a lot of long hard throws every game. Then my arm went, and it started hurting a lot sort of where my funny bone is. I am sure it is a tennis elbow because I have asked my doctor, and he x-rayed my arm and it was fine, and the muscles are fine, and my arm just annoyingly hurts. How do I fix this arm so I can get back to baseball?
I have not played or thrown a ball in 3 months and whenever I try, my arm hurts like hell.


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I don’t know what I did. I can’t twist it, turn it, stretch it, or put pressure on it. It hurts like hell. What can I do to make it heal better. I don’t know if I pulled it, strained it, or hyper-extended it. Help me please


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